I'm Lu Jianquan, 39 years old and from Shizhong District, Leshan City, Sichuan Province. I used to be obsessed with Falun Gong and fooled by the heretical ideas fabricated by Li Hongzhi. Under the mental control of the cult and dreaming for going up to the heaven to achieve "consummation", I took my own father as a "demon" and almost killed him... I'm serving my term at Wumaping Prison in Sichuan and remorse pricks me whenever I think about the past.

    In early 1999, I was a businessman in Shenzhen and saw many people practice this thing called Falun Gong. I read some of their promotion materials and was curious about it at that time. Then I took part in a practice activity organized by Falun Gong practitioners in late April that year. In his Zhuan Falun, Li Hongzhi said that everyone practicing Falun Gong will finally achieve "consummation" and will "ascend in broad daylight" to "the Paradise of Ultimate Bliss". He said: "In the Paradise of Ultimate Bliss, the trees are made of gold, and so are the ground, birds, flowers, and houses. Even the Buddha-body is golden and shiny ... When you've succeeded in cultivation, you'll get whatever you want and do whatever you want to do. In this world, you'll get everything and that's the rewards for your mighty virtues, all your sufferings, and your cultivation" (Zhuan Falun).

    As for me who longing for making a fortune yet suffering losses again and again in doing business, these heretical ideas with deceptive "disguise" won me over and I started to practice Falun Gong with great resolution.

    Although I was a devotional practitioner, yet Falun Gong did nothing to help with my business. On the contrary, I suffered more and more losses. In December 2001, being unable to carry on with the business, I returned to my hometown in Leshan. I was greatly depressed because of the failure and lost all confidence in life. All I wanted is to achieve "consummation" by practicing Falun Gong and to go to "the Paradise of Ultimate Bliss" described by the "Master".

    As for my practicing Falun Gong, my family had been against it from the very beginning. My father and sister talked to me a hundred times, trying to talk me out of it and into a new start by finding a job. In order to stop me, my father destroyed the books and audio tapes on Falun Gong several times. But what they have done didn't pull me back; instead, I harbor a grudge against them.

    I remembered that "Master" said in a scripture: "Those who destroy Dafa are the demons" (Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa). So I believed that the reason why I couldn't achieve "consummation" was because of these "demons". Furthermore, "Master" told us: "The wretched demons just deserve to be killed" (Explaining the Content of Falun Dafa), "if the evil has already reached the point where it is unsavable and unkeepable, then various measures at different levels can be used to stop it and eradicate it" (Beyond the Limits of Forbearance).

    These heretical ideas removed my last hesitation on killing and in order to get rid of the "disturbances" imposed by my father, to realize rapid progress in practicing, I made a plan to eradicate the "demon" preventing me from achieving the "consummation".

    On February 1, 2002, I told my mother and sister: "I'll kill father in five days and then set the house in fire and burn myself. Don't you worry, people have souls after they die and what I destroy are merely bodies." At hearing this, my family was afraid that I might really do something extreme so they rushed my father to take a hide at the house of one of our relatives. But in order to protect the family fame, they didn't report it to the police and my mother and sister talked to me about it later. The forgiveness of the family didn't wake me up; on the contrary, I thought the "demons" wanted to show the impression of weakness and this made me more resolute in killing them. So I pretended that I gave up the plan and easily won their trust.

    On February 4, my family believed that it was safe and got my father back home. At about nine o'clock in the evening, they were watching TV and I believed this was the best time to do it. So I went to the bathroom, got a screw driver that I hid there in advance, attacked my father in his head, face, chest, back, and ribs. My father was totally unprepared and fell in blood in just a few minutes. I used such a force that I broke the screw driver and left 4mm-long tip inside the skull of my father. At the sight of my crazy violence, my mother rushed to hold me; but how could an aged woman stop a crazy young man? I got rid of her grip and jumped at my father once again. At the critical moment, my sister got a kitchen knife and waved it at me to stop me in time. I was then caught by the policemen and my father was rushed to hospital by my family. After a long-time rescue, my father was finally saved but the medical examiner concluded that he was critically injured.

    On February 25, 2002, I was sentenced to 12-year imprisonment by Shizhong People's Court for committing the crime of intentional homicide. At the prison, I received a letter from my mother, and it said: "You've got the demon inside you by practicing Falun Gong; so you'll kill when the demon asks you to kill and jump off the building when the demon asks you to jump. Falun Gong is the root of all these." Reading the letter and recalling my father falling in blood, I started to doubt about Falun Gong for the first time. I was so devoted in studying and protecting Fa, why would I get nothing except for bringing harms to my family and ending up at prison? Isn't it true that "Master" has numerous "Law Bodies" and would watch over us anytime and anywhere? Why would I end up here in prison? For so many years, I hadn't been a better person because of practicing Falun Gong, and then does so-called "Paradise of Ultimate Bliss" really exist?

    I couldn't answer these questions and felt so confused. In order to solve these problems, with the help of the guards and tutors, I read a lot of materials revealing the truth about Falun Gong. The more I read, the more I was afraid, for I finally got the real picture of what I had believed in for so long.

    Now I feel so remorseful. At the same time, I'm also grateful, for my family hasn't given me up because of my cruelty. They visited me several times at prison and still care a lot about me. The warm feeling of family is something that Falun Gong has never given to me. When I'm in my lows, the ones standing beside me supporting and protecting me are not the omnipresent "Law Bodies" of "Master" but my families. At sorting out all these, I decided to break away completely from Falun Gong. In March 2003, I wrote a 6-page letter to father telling him that I was terribly sorry and remorseful, that I had a clear understanding of the nature of Falun Gong as a cult. At receiving my letter, father and others came to visit me and I couldn't help kneeling down in front of father apologizing for what I had done to him. Father forgave me and hoped that I would start all over again and be a better person.

    I learn a lesson from the blood of my father and want to tell those who are in the same situation that I used to be: wake up, see clearly the real nature of Li Hongzhi and Falun Gong cult, don't make the same mistake as I did, never do things that you'll regret later after paying a price of blood, and never wait till it's too late to say you're sorry.